Space for Words
by Newfound Silence
Summary: At night, in the silent spaces they cherish as husband and wife, he tells her stories. Features Kenshin-as-Traveler as opposed to Kenshin-as-Wanderer. Canon, Ken/Kao, series of one-shots.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Nobuhiro Watsuki is the creator of Rurouni Kenshin. This work purely for entertainment purposes only and is not for profit.

Vocabulary:

Shishou: "Master"; the term Kenshin uses to refer to Hiko Seijuro, 13th Master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu

Toba-Fushimi: A significant battle during the Boshin Wars which led to the defeat of the Tokugawa shogunate. In the manga, it is after the Battle of Toba-Fushimi that Kenshin realizes he can finally fulfill his promise to Tomoe to never kill again, having completed his mission of helping to make the way for an era of peace

(I think the above words are basically it. All other non-English words seem to be understandable enough in context)

0-0-0

It was their first night as husband and wife. She was made joyfully aware of how little they had known each other before this moment. How could the accidental brush of fingers or the surprise hugs thrown in relief compare to the amount of touch they had exchanged between them that night? How much more did he seem a man to her now?

She had seen him angry to the point of madness. She had heard about his brokenness at the thought that he had failed to protect the one person who was most important to him—for the second time. She had seen him surprised, happy, and poignantly sad.

But she had never seen him as a man the way she did that night. He had never been stripped literally and figuratively to just a man touching his wife for the first time, each of them, as one minute passed, begging the other for release. She had never thought it possible to hear the sounds he had made, for never before had she thought that she could please him the way she apparently had that night.

Afterwards, they lay facing one another, holding hands between their chests. "Tell me something," she whispered, because it was a night when neither of them could bare to speak as they normally would, and sleep would not come as quickly as they thought it would.

He studied her face before he slid an arm under her head, turned to lie on his back, but kept his hold on one of her hands. After a while, he said, "At sunset in Nagoya, you can look up precisely fifteen minutes into the sunset, and see how the light taints the Castle roofs, as if it is on fire."

She waited for him to continue, not certain if he needed prompting. The Castle was undeniably connected to the Tokugawa regime, and she was not sure she had the right questions in mind.

"I worked at a very small, run-down inn nearby for a week. The owner was a very old, frail woman. Every time she came down to give us instructions on what to do for the day, I was afraid that she would slip and break her hip. But she refused help from any of us. There were three of us she hired that week. We never asked, but we understood that keeping people employed for too long meant trusting them, and by the look of things she had been betrayed many times before, when it came to money matters."

Kenshin's eyes were trained on the ceiling, while hers stayed on his face. "We had very few customers. For a time, I was uncertain with my decision to stay the entire week. I feared that fighters for hire—" here he coughed a laugh and she smiled; who would have thought any reference, no matter how small, to Sanosuke would be made on their wedding night?

"—That they would come and stay for a couple of nights without bothering to pay. But the entire week we only had men and women in their fifties or sixties, and a small group of youngsters who were headed towards Yokohama."

"What kind of work did you have to do?" she asked, although she could have easily guessed. But it was too much of an opportunity to pass up; to listen to his words as they unravelled a story—it was more than she could have ever wished for.

"Cooking, mostly. My short time with Shishou had taught me some basic skills, to which the landlady added some of her knowledge. When I found out she was teaching me recipes she had learned from her mother and from her grandmother before her, I began to protest. I felt unworthy, that I did."

He paused again, as though ruminating on a thought that he had not encountered for quite some time.

"What did she look like?" she asked, captivated and afraid that he would not finish his story.

He smiled (oh that she would see one each night they spent together!). "Like a prune on two legs, with a head of mist."

She laughed and tried to take a swipe at him. "My husband the poet! Mou, Kenshin, that isn't very nice—especially from someone like _you_!"

His shoulders moved with silent laughter. "My apologies. I was merely quoting the younger man I was working with. He was too imaginative for his own good, that he was."

During the brief silence, she nuzzled his neck and, pleasantly surprised, he chuckled. He began to wonder if she was starting to fall asleep, her breath pleasant against his skin, when he felt her lashes brushing open.

"Did you like staying there, Kenshin?"

"It was not unpleasant," he admitted after a few moments. "At times I felt hopeless, knowing that the inn would never be reconstructed and that the innkeeper would likely die alone. But cooking meals three times a day, checking that the roof would not fall down on us as we slept, helping the other men I worked with to accomplish their tasks—it was the first in a long time that I felt like I had a purpose. Still…"

He trailed off and for a while, she thought he would be unable to answer. Finally feeling exhaustion seep into her bones, she began to fall into a very light sleep, only to open her eyes at the deep rumble of his voice.

"I knew I had to leave. The place could offer me little and what I could do for it was only temporary. Too, it had not been long since Toba-Fushimi and I did not want to attract attention by staying long in one place. Everything I did at that old inn only served to prepare me for the road ahead...For…For…" He trailed off again.

Perhaps it was true that in the final moments before falling asleep, the human mind was more aware, more infinitely wise than during the moments of full wakefulness. Understanding his sentiments, she placed a hand on his chest, on the place where his heart was, before closing her eyes.

"For your time here with me."

"Aa. Sleep well, Kaoru."

0-0-0

Hello. First things first: because I am still feeling around, I thought it best not to overly use Kenshin's normal speech patterns (resulting in Kenshin using "I"). As I write more, I think I will most probably use a mix of different variations of the English translation of how he usually speaks, as best fits my story/stories.

Next: the Castle here refers to the Nagoya Castle. It was built upon the command of Ieyasu Tokugawa, particularly to help defend the area from any threats coming from Osaka. A good part of it was burned down during World War II. The remaining parts are now considered "Important Cultural Assets." To learn more, go to

h t t p : / / w w w . n a g o y a j o . c i t y . n a g o y a . j p / 1 3 _ e n g l i s h / i n d e x . h t m l (take out the spaces).

That being said, thank you for reading. I hope you can spare the time to review! Please stick around for the next chapters.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Nobuhiro Watsuki is the creator of Rurouni Kenshin. This work purely for entertainment purposes only and is not for profit.

Vocabulary:

Mado: Japanese term for "window"

Kata: The exercise during which a set of movements particular to a martial art is practiced

Momonga: also known as the Japanese dwarf flying squirrel, a nocturnal animal.

Shishou: "Master"; the term Kenshin uses to refer to Hiko Seijuro, 13th Master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu

For someone who confessed not being used to sleeping on a futon, Kaoru found that her husband was an expert at folding and for that matter, unfolding one. She watched, lightly running over her braided hair as he unfolded one and then the other, thinking that her favorite part of the ritual was when he lay down the futon meant for her and made sure that there was hardly space between the two.

He had learned, early on, she decided, that waking up alone was her worst fear. Biting her lip, she silently admonished herself. The best part of the past month was having him lie next to her, although she also discovered that while she was prone to changing positions every now and then in her sleep (resulting in her elbow against her shoulder, or one knee too dangerously near his groin), the sun was more likely to rise in the west than it was for Kenshin to shift positions more than three times in the night.

She decided not to bring the matter up, knowing that his accidental stealth was a necessary leftover habit he had from his days as an assassin. She did, however, apologize to him several times over a few weeks ago, when she woke up half an hour before sunrise and discovered that she'd slung one leg over his waist as he lay on his side and one of her arms was on top of his throat. Rubbing an eye and shifting so that she was curled around him instead, she asked why he didn't mention the problem to her.

"There is no problem, Kaoru-dono," he said, his voice hoarse in the early hours. "I would rather not wake you for such a small thing."

"Yes," she sighed, "Because breathing is of no significance at all." She adjusted the covers around herself, realizing that it was far too cold. "Kenshin? Hold me?"

"Aa," he said, and complied. "Did I wake you?"

"Because you couldn't breathe? No, I think the gods intervened and woke me up instead."

The room was dim but already the fingers of daylight were hovering behind the mado. Still, the cold persisted and she reached over to adjust the covers around her husband. "Please don't worry about it. These things happen. I used to hear my father prowling around at night and when I finally asked him about it, he said it was as though he had been awake all along. He didn't recall falling asleep or being asleep, just that he saw the ceiling and realized he must have woken. And then he couldn't go back to sleep, so he walked around the house instead."

Silence followed, and she knew he was thinking about her words, turning them over and studying them against the light of his consciousness, the way a swordsmith examined a new blade against a shaft of sunlight.

"Before any of you came along," she continued, "I used to practice my kata, but not in the training hall; just here, in my room, because I felt silly practicing all alone in such a large place. One time Oguni-sensei was staying over and he said he woke up in the middle of the night thinking a dragon was huffing and puffing around the dojo! Can you imagine?"

He laughed then, and she delighted at the sound. It seemed his laughter was progressing from a silent shaking of the shoulders to the almost rough, melodic rumble she was now hearing. "But he found no dragon?"

"Mmhmm," she said, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "That was before you came, after all."

Silence fell between them again, and Kaoru wondered if she should try going back to sleep. But when she looked at Kenshin to see if his eyes were closed, he looked at her and said, "This one used to spend many nights wide awake in a forest."

"Because you wanted to stand guard in case of any animals that might want to eat you while you slept?"

He laughed again—again!

"Because there were so many things to see." He cupped her face and stared at a point just above her brows, although by the time he started to speak again she realized he was staring off somewhere else.

"There was a time in Osaka when I wandered into a forest. This one loved watching the momonga as they flew from one tree to another."

He smiled at her small gasp. "You've seen momonga! How lucky! I've only ever heard of them!"

"I may have seen a few, when I still lived with Shishou, but I did not remember until I saw them again in Osaka. This one almost drew his sword when I first saw something flash across the night sky—almost like a shadow. But I realized it could not have been another person, because I had not sensed anyone and because the shape of it was…wrong, somehow."

"Having nothing better to do, I tried to follow them. This one must have looked ridiculous, crouching and almost crawling from tree to tree. Finally, I thought, Shishou's training was letting me have some fun!"

"What was it like, following them?"

"Like chasing dark stars moving across the sky," he answered without hesitation, the poignancy of his words more apparent because he had not meant to sound poetic, simply saying what he thought.

"When I became too tired," he said, "I became content with watching four of them, huddled together on a low branch." I thought they would eventually fly towards my face, but in the end I supposed I had been quiet enough not to startle them, even when I was only a few inches away."

"Did you never try to hold one?"

"No," he admitted. "I was too scared I would only scare them away. And then…" He still held her face in his hands, unconsciously moving his fingers so that they got tangled in her hair and his thumbs brushed ever so lightly on the skin near her jaw. "The great immensity of being alone swallowed me. I became keenly aware of everything—owls rustling feathers; the sound of leaves and twigs underfoot—perhaps a wild boar a safe distance away; and my own breathing—the only human breath in the forest around."

"It made you sad," she said, continuing his story. She reached over and, uncertain where to touch, started for his brow, but before she could, he reached for her wrist and lowered it, as though to make sure she could see his face when he spoke.

"Aa, because even alone with them, I felt I was intruding. Whatever peace I found with them was only temporary, possible only because they permitted me to dwell with them for a time. I was in an empire no political faction could help build. And it made me wonder how someone like myself could feel so alone in a crowd of people and still alienated with creatures not of my own."

She mouthed his name. In the past she would have argued _it's all right, it's okay now, you're here, you're home, you're mine, _but now the words seemed inadequate.

Sending, perhaps, her concern, he gave her a small smile. "I woke in the morning without a recollection of having fallen asleep, and later on, back on the road, I realized it was because I had learned something new."

"And what was that?" The man she married had an infectious smile, she thought.

"That I had willingly sought out the peace they offered, though temporarily. It was a thought that would not leave me behind. For days after I mulled it over—seeing the faces of kindly creatures even when a fellow passerby or wanderer greeted me good morning for no reason other than to do so and I greeted back—quietly, but day by day it became easier."

"Tell me," she urged. He sighed, not out of impatience with her but for the thought that he had been so young and so naïve, so determined to be hopeless because he was living only to fulfill a promise which prevented him from taking even his own life.

"It became easier to interact. Subtly, so as not to draw too much attention, but there it was. In time, I was myself again because I chose to be." _Human—_the word hung in the cold air, but not for long.

She closed the distance and kissed him then, startling him so that it was a few moments until he returned the kiss and coaxed her to a slower pace, until the conversation became warm skin against skin instead of a play on words.

"It might be more comfortable for Kaoru-dono to think her thoughts while lying down, that it might."

Kenshin's voice snapped her out of her reverie. She blinked, confused, to find him already waist-deep under his covers, sitting and holding a hand out to her.

When she lay down beside him and made sure her braid was over one shoulder, she answered his silent question. "I was just thinking about what you said some weeks ago." They were both lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling. She held his hand.

"You know, about making a choice."

"Aa."

"And I just thought…how choosing can also be a matter of caring deeply for the people around you."

_A matter of choosing to love a woman—_again the words were unspoken but felt. Kaoru did not remember falling asleep that night, but she did remember for many years after, how she and Kenshin managed to hold hands until morning came.

A/N:

For those of you who are wondering, I choose to see the "-dono" honorific as one side to a coin. Kenshin may, in more intimate moments, choose to call Kaoru by only her name on one hand, but I also believe that in time Kaoru found the honorific as a term of endearment rather than as an excuse for distance.

In the manga, we see in Chapter 255 that Kenshin still calls her "Kaoru-dono"—at least in the presence of Yahiko. In any case, I feel that completely removing the term from Kenshin's speech carries too much of a Western influence. Keeping it, however, implies the deep respect for one another steeped in Japanese culture and which is distinct from modern Western ways of showing both respect and affection.

Thank you to everyone to reviewed (especially to those who gave constructive criticism, both here and in "A Kitchen Story"), added this story to their list of favorites, subscribed for the update alert, and even to those who simply took the time for reading.

Until next time!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Nobuhiro Watsuki is the creator of Rurouni Kenshin. This work is purely for entertainment purposes only and is not for profit.

Vocabulary (Japanese):

Shinai – Weapon used in sword techniques. Long strips of bamboo are tied together in order to make it.

Shishou – "Master"; the term Kenshin uses to refer to Hiko Seijuro, 13th Master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu

Baka deshi – "Idiot pupil", more or less; Hiko's nickname for / standard insult aka verbal manner of showing affection for Kenshin

Yukata – Sleeping robe

Vocabulary (English):

Ennui - Noun, meaning "tedium" or "weariness"

(I know it may seem condescending that I am defining an English term, but as I know there are readers whose native tongue is not English, I thought it best to play safe anyway)

0-0-0

The evening was chilly, but not too cold. Inside their room, Kaoru felt relaxed after a long day of teaching and honing her own skills at kenjutsu. The smell of the balm she was rubbing on her left shoulder reminded her of cool spring days and something about her mother—nothing too specific, as she had died when Kaoru was too young to remember anything more than hair thicker and darker than her own and eyes so full of depth they seemed the color of mystery—but such thoughts were pleasant and so rarely in her mind that she welcomed it without any kind of anguish.

She inhaled and willed her muscles to loosen, thinking how wonderful it was to be free of the smell of different sweating students, of the sounds of shinai hitting a body part here or hitting another shinai there, and of her voice ringing high above groans from the students at her demand that they practice the new move ten times more for every person who could not follow the correct footwork.

True, these were the sounds and smells that placed her in a meditative zone where she was one with her shinai, and yes, she was glad for the five new students at the Kamiya dojo—boys Yahiko had sniffed out from the area where he now lived at Ruffian Row—as well as the two additional classes at the Maekawa dojo, but there were days when she wished she could eat supper with Kenshin while sleeping because both exhaustion and hunger plagued her the moment she finished her bath.

Her husband, knowing better than to suggest that she take it easy, only chuckled with a faint look of worry in his eyes every time he came to walk her home.

"Is anything the matter?"

She felt a hand on her own (the one still on her left shoulder) and realized that she had stopped massaging the balm on her skin for quite some time. Saving her from having to answer, he reached for the small clay jar from beside her and asked, "Here as well, Kaoru-dono?" as he spread the balm down her shoulder blade. "Yes, please," she said, sighing as his hands deftly found the points of tension —not out of any expertise in the healing arts, she intuited, but because he too knew how and where kenjutsu could affect the person who practiced it, duel or no.

"Better?" he said, although even the way he said it made it clear it was not a question. "Mm. My other shoulder as well, Kenshin. Please?" She adjusted her yukata and transferred her hair to the other side. Having so little energy left, she decided even braiding her hair was too much effort for the night.

As his fingers helped her brush loose strands away, she felt herself blushing, thankful that he was kneeling behind her and couldn't see. It was ridiculous for her to blush now, she knew, but she did so because she remembered their first night as a married couple.

She was reminded of how he had murmured her name, running a finger along a small bruise near her navel and the small scratches she had here and there—even the faint scar she had received on the night they'd first met. While Kamiya Kasshin made no use of steel, that had never been a guarantee that its adjutant master wouldn't bleed from wounds caused by real swords.

The truth was that, all in all, the small scars she had on her body did not compare to the marks of the battlefield on his own. However, despite the fact that she herself had reverently kissed every scar on his torso, and though he had been quiet as he examined her own old wounds, she had felt the need to speak as she revealed herself fully to him.

"Megumi-san wrote to me last week, saying I'd better not do anything as foolish as practicing so much; she knows how the dojo's been doing well lately, but also that new students can be overly enthusiastic and that no matter how careful you are, some small injury's bound to happen. I knew it was good advice, but I – I – I couldn't, I needed to get my mind off things and I've been so nervous about tonight. Mou, Kenshin—"

But he had cut her off with the simple act touching his forehead with hers. "Aa. I know the feeling well."

Moving her face so that she could look properly at him, she bit her lip while touching his collarbone lightly, unaware of how innocently she tempted him. But her question had been out of pure curiosity, tinged with some sadness in case he gave her the answer that she feared hearing.

"You're not disappointed that…" She chose not to finish.

"My wife has her own battles to fight. This one could never ask her to sacrifice her craft for the sake of beauty. Or deny her the meaning of every battle she has had to face."

His eyes had swept over her whole form then,—never before had she thought it possible that his eyes could contain so much content and barely-concealed passion—making her blush.

After Kenshin finished applying the balm on her other shoulder and she closed her yukata, he held out his hand while his other arm supported her around her waist. Even getting up was a bit of a challenge tonight.

"If my father were alive," she told him as they walked toward their futons, "He'd say that I didn't stretch long enough and, just to stress his point, make me do those silly exercises I'd said Yahiko had to do before learning the final technique of Kamiya Kasshin. My arms and my back would become twice as painful, then!"

Securing the covers around her before lying down himself, he made no complaints when she moved closer. In the attempt to make themselves comfortable, he ended up moving to accommodate her so that her left shoulder was on top of _his_ right shoulder and his left forearm was on her left hip, so that his left hand could hold _her _right hand.

"Sometimes," he said, "When Shishou felt like it, he would ask me to chop firewood even after I'd been training the entire day. During those times, he'd only let me eat half a cup of rice for lunch and supper. I complained, but he said—"

"To stop being a whiny wimp of a baka deshi?"

"—And that it was to help me build my endurance. He told me, 'Do you think that even after defeating your opponent you can just rest up and eat as much as you'd like? What if he had a surprise adversary who tracks you down not ten minutes after your first fight? What if you have to run for the hills? You think the battle is over just because you're enemy is on the ground? You have to train yourself to have that one last ounce of strength, you blubbering idiot.' I hated days like that, that I did."

"Is that why we always have extra firewood around?"

"Perhaps," he considered.

He then gave a grin that was as close to the definition of 'wicked' as she had ever seen on his face. "But I knew most of the time that he was pleased with my progress, because after the first few months he began letting me drink some of his sake—just enough for me to have a taste."

"And all those years of building your endurance and tasting good sake, they were all worth it, weren't they, Kenshin?"

He shifted and she followed, so that her head was pillowed on his shoulder and he held her close to him with his other arm.

"Aa, but also, they helped me discover that a young woman was trying to track down the Hitokiri Battousai, who, rumor had it, was using her father's style in spreading violence."

Her eyes widened and she tugged at his hair, so gripped by curiosity was she. "How so?"

"One night," he said, running his finger along the bridge of her nose. "This one felt very alone; not depressed, exactly, but restless. This one felt tired of walking around without a destination, but there was nowhere else to go and nothing else to do."

"Ennui," she said, understanding.

He sighed in agreement. "For once, just because I felt so desperate to have somewhere to go to, I thought about turning around some kilometres back despite the late hour, to spend all the money I had left overnight in a large, expensive-looking inn. What else could I lose? For once perhaps I could pretend that I deserved such luxury. I could pretend that it was all right to spend all the money that would have lasted at least two more days, simply because I could forget my past for that night and be sorrowful again in the morning."

"But the thought felt too much as though I was surrendering something," he confessed. "I mulled over this until I reached a fork* in the road. An old sign informed me that the right would lead to a detour where I could turn back towards the inn I'd passed, but another run-down sign said that the left would bring me to Edo proper. At that moment, I remembered Shishou."

An understanding of the way circumstance and choice converged into infinite moments dawned on them both, though the storyteller had already lived it, knowing every fragment of the tale he was telling. The air became unbearable in heady anticipation and silent appreciation both, the two emotions fitting together like two bodies that made a whole.

"The old enemy had already been defeated," Kaoru finally said, rubbing her nose against his cheek. "But a new feeling you had never felt before had taken its place." She sensed the ending of this story, but she treasured every word of its unfolding.

Lowering her voice to a whisper and moving her mouth close to his ear, she spoke again. "Which path did you take, Kenshin?" But both of them knew it was not a question.

Instead of answering, he eased her yukata from one shoulder and touched her scar—the one she'd received when they first met.

Sighing contentedly as he tightened his embrace on her, Kaoru smiled against his neck. In a few moments more, she was sound asleep.

0-0-0

Hello. First of all, I'd like to apologize for all the typographical errors in the previous chapters, especially the second one (I even forgot to put divisions, i.e., 0-0-0). This is a lousy reason, but I largely needed a pick-me-up and writing this story always works; unfortunately I am also usually pressed for time and recently have failed to spot certain errors.

To see the "silly exercises" Kaoru mentioned, please refer to Chapter 182 of the manga.

Next, I think it is probably time to address some concerns. By the way, thank you for all the insight and honest comments/constructive criticism. It is wonderful to have actual conversations with readers.

NinnyTreetops and Windy E: Actually, I've discovered that the middle ground best solves the problem of Kenshin's first person speech for now, in the sense that for the sake of better consistency, I've separated instances of "This one" from "I" so that they're in different paragraphs. I'd choose just one style over the other, but I am not yet completely decided, so this will have to do for now.

Thank you, Windy E for always appreciating the flow of every chapter (you chose a fantastic name and corresponding avatar, too!)

And Ninny Treetops, thanks for mentioning your analysis of Kenshin's speech. I had never considered that interpretation, and though my dilemma on his speech has more to do with the style of the story rather than his identity, I am flattered that you analysed it this way—makes sense, too :)

Kokoronagomu: I agree with what you said about formal titles even for the West, particularly before the 19th century. Still, I simply felt the need to explain because I noticed in recent years that more and more writers had insisted on the cathartic moment of Kenshin doing away with the honorific. While I understood the importance of such a moment, I had garnered that the emphasis made on it was based on a very modern Western perception (circa 20th century). Also, I think despite the fact that both East and West used honorifics before the 19th century when referring to a significant other, East and West also have very nuanced titles (hence the Japanese varieties such as –dono, -san, -kun, etc.) which do not have exact translations in English.

_But _I'd just like to say that I love your review for bringing this up (and I especially love that you mentioned Jane Austen!). It feels great that someone also understands why it wouldn't be unusual for Kenshin to use the honorific; I had anticipated that a lot of readers would complain! More importantly, thank you for sharing the tidbit about your dad; that you shared something about yourself in relation to this story makes me smile.

For the rest, thank you for your reviews. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you guys appreciate the indirectness of the love story here, and how these one-shots touch on different aspects of the characters' lives.

Until the next chapter :)


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